THE CLUB IS NOW OPEN FOR NEW MEMBERSHIP. THE CLUB HAS TWO SECTIONS AVAILABLE FOR MEMBERSHIP, BOWLING MEMBER AND ASSOCIATE MEMBERSHIP FOR BOTH LADIES AND GENTS. THE CRITERIA FOR BOTH OF THESE MEMBERSHIPS IS TO BE THICK SKINNED AND  HAVE A RIGHT GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR.

 

The committee, and members, of the club would like to thank everyone who turned up for the three events that were held over the festive period. During these events some fund raising was done and we managed to raise £657 for St. Vincents Hospice.

 

Well done to Stevie and Tommy Kerr for ripping out the insides of the bowls hoose. Work will start shortly on the new floor and then the walls and electrics and then the new lockers. Seems that the club treasurer Stephen McShane told them that there was buried treasure under the floorboards.

 

Baw Heed The Mini Edge

News from Tenerife     News from Tenerife    News from Tenerife

It would appear that David Mini Edge Moran has now been pumped by Claire's mum Liz, this happened in front of Edge himself. Wee Davie seemingly got an absolute humping from Liz at ten pin bowling. Things were going really well but the wean has spat the dummy oot and cant wait to get home, things were seemingly so bad that he phoned his dad trying to book an earlier flight. He was so embarrassed that his face was as red as his hair.

The club are also looking at putting a new covered building over the green which would provide the members with virtually year round bowling but the debate is to keep grass or put down a different type of surface. With the state of the Scottish weather I think this would be a good idea. The structure can be put away when the sun is out. The structure is inflatable. Seen here covering some tennis courts.

  

A woman answers the door to a market researcher.
"Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at
all in your household?"
"Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."
"Do you use it for anything else?"
"Like what?"
"Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex."
"Oh, of course. Yes, we smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep the kids
out."